Emotions = Energy-in-Motion || Emotional Intelligence + Horses

What does it mean to be emotionally intelligent and why would having such an awareness matter in our interactions with, and training of our horses?

By definition emotional intelligence is “the ability to understand, use, and manage your own emotions in positive ways to relieve stress, communicate effectively, empathise with others, overcome challenges and defuse conflict”. Honestly, what could be more important for our interactions with our horses then?

So to get to the “emotional intelligence” part, lets take a moment to unpack the science of our emotions first. Did you know that the physiology of our body responds to the vibrations of our emotions? What does that mean? Well, basically when we radiate joy, happiness, gratitude, appreciation, calmness or love, our chemicals/hormones (essentially the instructions from our brain) are expansive and opening. Our very cells actually respond to our high positive emotions and we experience pleasant sensations throughout our entire being…we are relaxed, our mind is clearer and our heart is more open.

By contrast, when we experience fear, anger, or frustration, everything in our body and mind contracts. Our cells and organs are bathed with stress hormones. Our heart may pound harder, our breathing becomes shallow and there is a certain level of being closed off. Our defences are up, we are somewhat shut down and our vibrations are dense and heavy.

So, basically, what I am saying is that emotions are energy and energy is frequency. All energy carries information and affects not only our own physiology but EVERYTHING ELSE AROUND US.

Now, the important point here is…our horses can feel this! Yes, it’s true! Our biochemistry changes with our emotions and this is what horses respond to. They are extremely sensitive to the electricity in our bodies.

Without going into the great depths of equine ethology here, what we fundamentally need to understand is that horses are a sensitive, feeling-oriented, prey animal. Their survival depends on their ability to sense any inconsistencies within their environment…and that one hundred percent includes us! So, when we are experiencing frustration, excitement, anger, or fear, it can create the same expression of emotion in our horses. Horses are extremely sensitive to our emotions and feelings and how they affect our energy levels. Our horse will pick up those minuet signals we are giving off and respond to the energy he’s being fed. He can’t help it. It is innate.

Now, I’m going to get a little more ‘sciency’ here before we move on, so please bare with me.

What if I said we live in a reflected reality and that scientific evidence proves it. What does that mean you say? Well, it means that our beliefs, feelings and emotions affect EVERYTHING, from the healing of our bodies to the atoms of reality itself...and what if I said that the space between particles is not empty at all!

Scientists have shown that while we may think we’re only watching and observing our world, we are in fact creating it, we are building it...what happens internally is reflected in everything around us.

In the words of physicist John Wheeler, that makes us all 'participators'. When we focus our attention on a given place in a moment of time, we involve our consciousness, and in this vast field of consciousness it appears that there’s no clear boundary that tells us where we stop and the rest of the world begins. When we think of the world this way, it becomes clear why the ancients believed that everything is connected...because it is!...as energy, it is!

Scientist Gregg Braden goes on to explain how ‘paradigm-shattering experiments, published in leading-edge, peer-reviewed journals reveal that we’re bathed in a field of intelligent energy that fills what used to be thought of as empty space. Beyond any reasonable doubt, additional discoveries show that this field responds to us—it literally rearranges itself—in the presence of our heart-based feelings and beliefs to become the healing of our bodies and the peace of our world’!

THIS is the revolution that changes everything...even the relationship between ourselves and our horses.

The animals we share our time with reflect our energy, the field of energy, that we are creating in our lives. Remember, energy is information and it is everywhere, it is everything. THIS is why people say the horse is our mirror, THIS is why Equine Assisted Therapies are so potently powerful, THIS is why to make any true progress or connection with our horses we need to address ourselves FIRST...because science...the beautiful magic of science...it can't be palmed of as 'woo' or airy fairy spiritual BS any longer...I frickin’ love science!

Unfortunately us humans have been taught to view and respond to our emotions differently though. We have been taught to either fear them or try and hide them. We try to hide behind happy faces and false masks. However, our very clever horses won’t pay any attention to these silly little masks as they tend to sense what is in our bodies, our hearts and our heads and they react accordingly.

So, with our personal happiness and the happiness and wellbeing of our horses in mind, I thought I’d share a few tips to help you recognise those moments of contraction. They may also help you move through those denser emotions should you experience them whilst out working with your horses:

BE TRUELY PRESENT. Not only is mindfulness one of the major keys to personal growth, it will help you become more aware of what is happening for you internally…physically, mentally and emotionally. Mindfulness is an awareness of what thoughts are running through our mind at any one point in time. Energy follows thought and becomes e-motion…..energy in motion. Just think about it, your not paying attention to your horse or your mental or physical state if you are going through your ‘To Do’ list for the coming week, or thinking about what your going to cook for dinner, or chatting to someone on the phone. So, take a lesson from your horse and practice mindfulness. Our horses are masters at it.

LISTEN TO YOUR BODY. Body awareness. Feel and connect with your body. If you aren’t mindful and consciously aware of your emotions or feelings, your body sure is! They are one and the same. Your body is giving you hints and signals all the time. Tight chest, contracted muscles, tense jaw, heart pounding, sweaty palms, shallow breathing, holding your breath etc. These are all signals that you may need to stop what your doing and take some time to process what is going on for you.

ACKNOWLEDGE YOUR FEELINGS. If your feeling emotionally shaky STOP and simply acknowledge it. This will immediately take away the stress of trying to cover it up and appear ‘normal’. This will also reassure your horse or other humans around you that your ok with your vulnerability. That old saying, ‘never show the horse you are afraid’ has never sat right with me. I don’t care what others say, it is OK to be afraid! Just acknowledge it within yourself and to your horse. Don’t try to hide or suppress it. If you do you will give off conflicting signals that can make your horse nervous and your horse will become uneasy due to your actions not matching the energy your giving off.

DON’T FORGET TO BREATHE! Breathing is kind of important right!? I believe it is the single most important part of working with horses. I could write a whole article just on our breath and working with horses. If you are feeling emotionally shady, stop and breathe deeply into your diaphragm and release it with an audible sigh. Watch your horses reaction and behaviour change after you’ve done this, it’s almost like magic!

GROUND YOUR ENERGY. Grounding exercises are fabulous when you are feeling emotionally or energetically shaky or scattered as they work to calm your nervous system. Following below are a couple of very simple but effective grounding exercises I’ve utilised over the years that you can do anytime.

TAKE A TIME OUT. If you are feeling extra scattered and overly emotional it is probably best for all that you take some time out for yourself. Let your horse have the day off, don’t go out for that family dinner etc. If you don’t have the energy to hold space for anyone but yourself, that is OK. Honour your emotions with dignity and others will to. Walking away is so much more graceful than loosing your shit and you won’t end up doing something you may later regret.

SIMPLE GROUNDING TECHNIQUE 1

Place both feet flat on the ground

Cross your arms over your chest.

Gently tap your shoulders, alternating one side at a time.

Alternatively, you can sit down and place your hands on your thighs if you are in public, tapping one leg at a time. Although not as effective as shoulder tapping, this technique can still calm you down.

SIMPLE GROUNDING TECHNIQUE 2

The “54321 game” is a common sensory awareness grounding exercise that many find a helpful tool to relax or get through difficult moments.

Name 5 things you can feel (“my feet on the ground” or “the air in my nose” etc)

Describe 4 things you see around you.

Name 3 things you hear right now (“traffic, birds chirping etc”)

Name 2 things you can smell right now (or 2 smells you like)

Name 1 good thing about yourself

E-motion is energy in motion. Energy follows feelings, thoughts and words, so be present and mindful with your emotions and what you are experiencing physically, not only if you are working with your horses but within your personal life as well. This is emotional intelligence, an awareness of what is going on for you at any given point in time. Once your aware you can work to change things if you need to.

We control our emotions, they are our responsibility, no one else’s and definitely not our horses. We always have the choice to follow their pull or to stop and honour our sensitivity by breathing into the emotion. Take the time to move the energy through you and then consciously release it. Unless we honour our emotions we cannot learn the lesson they are there to teach us.

And PS: Your horses will definitely thank you for it!

Mel Spittall2 October 2022Comment