Women + Horses || An Observational Offering

When I got home this afternoon, I literally had to drag myself through the door. I am exhausted, covered in sweat and dirt and hair, oh and speaking of hair mine looks like I’ve just rolled out of bed. If my family were here they’d tell me to go take a shower as I’m pretty sure the potent blend of horse poop, sweat and soiled stable shavings smell wouldn’t be very pleasant for them. My back is sore and my legs are aching. I may also have some mild sun stroke…and all that aside, I’ve never felt happier. My heart is full and I feel accomplished. Like I totally won at life today. Yes, this work can be physically tough, so what exactly is it about horses that draws me to them? I ask myself that question all the time.

I catch myself reminiscing of days spent out riding, alone, meandering around our property or those adjoining, crossing streams, traipsing through orchards and galloping up the back hills. I was a little girl back then, always lost in my own world, daydreaming, wandering, completely comfortable with the fact I was by myself, but also with this somewhat intrinsic understanding that I was never really alone. You see, I’ve always been pretty sensitive to the world around me and even at such a tender age I had this underlying awareness that I was, in fact, in constant, non verbal communication with this other being underneath me. My horse, my best friend.

Have you ever wondered why you gravitate towards horses? As a woman, have you ever pondered what it is about them that seems to draw you in? Where you obsessed with them as a kid, or are they something you found later in life? Do you know why? Have you ever thought it strange that the majority of the equine industry in the western world is dominated mostly by female figures, competitively, professionally and recreationally? I’m not quite sure what it was that drew me to horses all those years ago, but I think I may have an understanding of why it’s something that I have fought to keep in my life for the past 30 or so years.

When I reflect back on those times, riding the hills, just myself and my horse, I recall a definite sense of freedom. As a young girl horses offered me that freedom and independence I so craved. They helped me discover, (amongst many other things) an exquisite balance of control and surrender, not only with them, but it transferred into my adult life also. For some girls or women horses may also offer an escape, from bullying at school or an abusive home life? Perhaps there’s some small notion inside of us that tells us that there is some common ground to be found between ourselves and a horse. Perhaps it’s the idea that the horse, at some point in it’s life, has most probably been disempowered as we have.

Now, we all know that women are generally not as physically strong as men. It’s just a biological fact. We are by design, the smaller, weaker sex. So could it be that by shovelling barrow loads of poop, and coming home with hay in our hair and dirt under our nails, we feel we are somehow challenging the traditional gender norms? Perhaps by giving ourselves the opportunity to go out and ‘get our hands dirty’, and by learning to effectively work with and handle a large and powerful flight animal, we inadvertently acquire some strength through influence and acceptance.

If we ponder equestrianism and the fact that it is the only Olympic sport where men and women compete against each other on a level playing field, then that in itself could really speak to a sense of gender equality for us. Did you know that two thirds of the nearly 30,000 athletes in the International Equestrian Federation (FEI) database of competitors in the Olympics disciplines were females? For the last three or four decades women have been streaming into the equestrian sports. So much so that we are now the more represented gender.

And, what about the physical aspects of interacting with our equine friends? Such a strong and powerful animal can be intimidating for sure, especially for those younger girls or women that are a lot smaller physically. So, when we learn how to control and communicate with a 450kg beast that has a mind of its own, it becomes in and of itself an inherently rewarding practice. To have such an animal respond to what you’re asking of it is very much an empowering process.

Now even though horses may be strong, powerful and difficult to train at times, and this could possibly be attributing to our sense of self empowerment on many levels, they are also extremely communicative animals that can be incredibly trusting and gentle once a genuine relationship is established.

Have you ever had to listen to your husband or boyfriend complain about how you spend too much time with the horses, or how that you clearly love the horses more than you do him? He’s most probably saying these things in jest right, but unfortunately he does have a point. By design, women are built for nurturing. Women, more so then men, are focused on building positive and loving relationships. Horses inherently require companionship and seem to respond well to this commitment to relationship that women offer them. Horses also require a lot of care, and so by focusing on this relationship and taking care of them, could we subconsciously be fulfilling our own biological impulse for nurturing and care taking? It’s definitely possible right?

On the topic of biology, did you know that as a woman you possess this really cool thing called the ‘empathy advantage’. Women also have a greater connectivity between the left (language and rhythm) and right (emotions and melody) sides of our brains and tend to process equally well between the two hemispheres. We therefore experience more feelings and we hold this ability more so than men. I am by no means being sexist and realise that there is always exceptions to the rule, however, most men tend to process better in the left hemisphere of their brains, the more logical and analytical side. So, as men and women, our brains are wired very differently, and this naturally makes us women that much more adept at picking up on non verbal cues and reading the body language of animals and humans. Horse training itself requires the participant to understand, read, and relate to the subtle signs the horse is giving. This, in essence is relationship building, and this is also the key to successful horse ownership, riding and competing. Have you ever noticed that the skills we use to train our horses (like non verbal communication, and understanding what rewards and punishes our horses) are the very same skills we use to influence our own children and romantic partners behaviours? That’s not coincidental.

Linda Kohanov in her book The Tao of Equus has a very deep, and beautifully profound insight into a womens attraction to equines - “These, sensitive non predatory beings respond to the world in ways that are traditionally associated with feminine values. Horses relate to the world from a feminine or “yin” perspective. As a result, the species is a living example of the success and effectiveness of feminine values, including cooperation over competition, responsiveness over strategy, emotion and intuition over logic, process over goal, and the creative approach to life that these qualities engender”.

Maybe this could be the elusive answer to the age old question…why women and horses? Maybe it goes a great deal deeper than sheer physical size, self empowerment or a fulfillment of our empathetic, nurturing natures. Perhaps they are in fact a mirror, and they do, in fact, reflect back to us so beautifully that which we see in them, the potential success and effectiveness of our own values and perspectives?

Which ever way we look at it, there is something profoundly empowering about this relationship between women and horses. It’s a close and intimate relationship and one that can certainly act as a catalyst for personal reflections, revelations and self awareness. It’s a relationship that I know has changed mine and many, many other lives for the better.

Mel Spittall23 June 2022Comment